I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
