I could have mohawked her pubes.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
