My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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