sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
