I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize