I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
