sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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