Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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