dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
