What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
