you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
