thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
