And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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