I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
