What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
