i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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