Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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