is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
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U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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