1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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