I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
should my penis look like a turkey
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
