Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
