You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
