I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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