The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
