Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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