I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You ruined the universe
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize