I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
