Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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