why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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