you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
