How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
