Define "chronic" masturbator.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
please don't ironically join a cult
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