there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
