I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
