Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
