his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
