i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
