This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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