Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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