First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize