forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
