when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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