when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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