I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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