I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
