oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
