he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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