The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
