I'm jealous of your bromance
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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