So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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