i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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