Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What drink are we having for lunch?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
