they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
