i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize