Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
handjob tips. give me some.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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