I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize