If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
